Mistletoes Above My Head
by Paraluman
Summary: Rangiku decides to spread the holiday cheer in Seireitei... by hanging up jinxed mistletoes all over. Find out who gets to kiss who and please dont forget to review!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. sigh 

**Created by** rainroses

Please read and rate… thanks!!!

**Note**: I was reading some fan fictions when I stumbled on an old Christmas mistletoe fic… gave me an idea. Thanks to the author, whose name I cannot seem to recall. Well, have fun and watch out for chapter 2!!!

**Mistletoes above My Head**

It was in the middle of the night. If she messed up then she would have to think of a very amiable reason for her staying up very late. Finally! She had finished her work. Rangiku Matsumoto looked at her taichou's office and smirked mischievously. "Merry Christmas, Hitsugaya-taichou…"

Her masterpiece of a plan was devilishly put up, with a sprinkling of partners in crime here and there. Among her comrades were Yamada Hanatarou, Urahara Kisuke, Kusajishi Yachiru and Shunsui Kyouraku-taichou. How she got a captain to participate was a feat she was definitely proud of; she had lured him with something called the "Nanao-bait" and sent the old man twirling around the place (on his part, it was just exaggeration. He did it to please Matsumoto; such was the "great" Kyouraku in front of women.) Urahara Kisuke had told her something about this little affair that humans had with plants called mistletoes and her mind came up with an idea to cheer up the rather gloomy Seireitei.

"Uh-uh… Matsumoto-fukutaichou, are you sure this is going to work? W-What if they refuse to do what you said they're supposed to do?" Hanatarou asked nervously.

"No fear, my friend, no fear. I particularly placed a spell on those mistletoes… should they refuse to kiss well…" Rangiku replied with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"I do not doubt you Matsumoto-fukutaichou but I would rather we start working now… I can't wait!!!" Shunsui said excitedly.

"Very well then, the first targets are…"

"Ichigo! Could you please stop slacking off?! I do not want to be late!!!" Rukia yelled at her companion, who was dragging his body towards Urahara's shop.

"Just what's so special anyway?!" he asked her angrily. _Geez! First she assaults me to wake him up and now she's dragging me to that old man's shop!_

"Well it must be important because Kyouraku-taichou called for the both of us. Even Ishida and Inoue are coming. Now hurry up!"

The two finally got to Urahara's shop after a lot of bickering and there they found their friends waiting for them. Both parties were surprised to find that Chad was not around. Urahara just laughed it off, saying that Shunsui only required the four of them for something "special". Little did they know pf what was waiting for them in Seireitei.

"It's kind of sad that Chad isn't here, don't you think?" Inoue commented when the entered the tunnel connecting to Soul Society. Surprisingly, nothing was chasing them this time. The others expressed assent to Orihime's statement.

Soon they were caught up in a lively conversation while "strolling" in the tunnel and when they got out they found themselves greeted by Hanatarou and Rangiku. The two led them in pairs; Rangiku took Rukia and Ichigo while Hanatarou took Inoue and Ishida.

"We have to split up", Rangiku declared, "Kyouraku-taichou needs to talk to Rukia and Ichigo first."

"What about us?" Inoue asked Rangiku.

"Oh, just follow Hanatarou around… I believe he can answer that question."

The two parties spilt and promised to meet each other at the end of the day there. When Rukia and Ichigo got to the 8th squad's quarters, they were told that Kyouraku-taichou was at the 10th squad's quarters. The two made their way there and found Shunsui having an animated chatter with Ukitake. The two captains looked at them and acknowledged their arrival. Before Ukitake could offer a seat to the both of them, Shunsui immediately pointed to the top of the doorway with a very wide smirk. Rukia and Ichigo looked up and to Ichigo's horror, there was mistletoe hanging right above their heads. Rukia was unimpressed however, as she had no idea what the plant was supposed to represent.

"What the heck is wrong with you Ichigo?! That's just a plant! You're afraid of the plant?!" Rukia asked and nearly died laughing at Ichigo's face.

Ichigo brushed it off and was attempting to slice the plants into pieces when Shunsui said, "Nuh-uh-uh, you don't want to do that."

All of a sudden, everything was beginning to swirl around them. Rukia began to get worried and asked Ichigo what was happening. The two soon found themselves in a literally upside down world.

"Where the heck are we?!"

"I don't know!"

"Ichigo… don't tell me that that plant has something to do with this and that you decided to offend it?!! You're really so stupid!!!"

"What?! Maybe you're the one who's stupid! You don't even know what that plant was!!"

"And is it my fault? I didn't grow up in your world you know!!"

The two bickered on and on until Shunsui popped out of nowhere. Like everything around them, he was upside down.

"Kyouraku-taichou!!" Rukia cried with relief.

"What's happening, pink haori man?" Ichigo asked Shunsui.

"Ah well… all you two had to do was kiss and the mistletoe would've done nothing… but someone just had to try to shred it so it decided to play along…" he replied with a mischievous smile.

"I kiss Ichigo?!!! Are you out of your mind?! clears throat … Kyouraku-taichou…." Rukia was fuming with disbelief and was striving hard not to say anything rude to the captain, "Can you please explain what is happening?"

"In the human world you see, they have this tradition of hanging plants called mistletoes atop doorways and the sort… and when two people are under it, they have to kiss. Then, they have to marry, have kids and live happily ever after…"

"Who the heck told you that?!!!" Ichigo yelled.

"Don't be too hot, kiddo. I was joking about the last part. But… I was serious about the part of you having to kiss to get out of this… predicament? Well, I must say goodbye for now… Nanao-chan will kill me if I don't show up at the captain's meeting. Have fun!!!"

"Have…"

"Hey old man, come back here!!!" Ichigo called Shunsui, who was giving them a deaf ear.

"Fun?!!!! Kyouraku-taichou, have mercy!!! Come back!!!"

Up next… Hinamori and Hitsugaya's episode. Rangiku smiling widely at the back.

Please rate so I can improve whatever I have to improve…. Happy Holidays!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. sigh 

**Created by** rainroses

Please read and rate… thanks!!!

**Note**: I was reading some fan fictions when I stumbled on an old Christmas mistletoe fic… gave me an idea. Thanks to the author, whose name I cannot seem to recall. Well, have fun and a very Merry Christmas to you all!!!

**Mistletoes above My Head**

Hinamori Momo woke up with a start. She remembered that she had a meeting to attend with her taichou Sousuke Aizen that day. She shot out of her bed, kept it at a corner and started to do her morning routines. After she finished, she immediately went into her taichou's office to find out that he and gotten out for his morning walk. She was reviewing some of the final documents needed for the meeting when Shirou-chan's (Hitsugaya's) fukutaichou appeared beside her.

"Good morning, Momo-chan", she greeted in a rather strange way.

"Good morning to you too, Matsumoto-fukutaichou," she greeted in return; hardly looking at the buxom lady's face as she was busy checking some last few reports.

"You're rather lonely today… Aizen-taichou was talking to Shirou-chan this morning… they're in his office now, presumably…"

Momo jumped at hearing the name "Aizen". She was now attentively listening to Rangiku.

"He was asking for you so Shirou-chan sent me to you."

"I'll be right there."

The two were later in the dominion of the child genius' office and as Rangiku said, the two captains were indeed talking about a seemingly amusing subject as Aizen was chuckling every now and then.

"Shirou-chan! Aizen-taichou! Good morning!!" Momo greeted the both of them.

"Good morning as well, my vice captain Hinamori," Aizen replied with a ready smile.

But Hitsugaya was not as smiling as Aizen. "How many times do I have to remind you, that I prefer to be addressed as Hitsugaya-taichou?!!!"

"But the name's cute, Shirou-chan," Rangiku teased.

"Keep out of this Matsumoto!!!"

"Don't be so mean, Shirou-chan!" Momo reprimanded.

Hitsugaya seemed to be working some thoughts and then opened his mouth and said, "Fine then, bed-wet---"

Momo hurried and covered Hitsugaya's mouth before he would embarrass her in front of her taichou. Luckily for her, he seemed to be engrossed on something else. "Hinamori, don't we have a meeting to attend to this morning?"

Momo assented to this and followed her taichou, who was standing up to thank Hitsugaya for his hospitality. He went out of the door while Momo busily filed some bulks of paper together. Rangiku looked at her disbelievingly, muttering on where she could have hidden those papers this morning when they were together. Then when Momo was going out already, papers properly stacked that they did not look so heavy and plenty, Rangiku saw her chance to use the mistletoe hanging from her taichou's doorway.

"How evil… no one bothers to help her…" she said at her taichou's earshot and quickly went out of the room before Momo and purposely knocked the neatly stacked papers she was carrying. All the papers flew and fell on the flower. Rangiku quickly apologized and ran away after Aizen. Hitsugaya sighed and began to help Momo.

"That Matsumoto really… how did I become so unlucky as to have her as my fukutaichou?"

"No… I'm sure she didn't mean it. Besides, she isn't so bad… Matsumoto-fukutaichou is a fun person."

"Wait till you see her antics."

Hinamori rebuked him for being so strict with his vice captain. When they finished what they were doing, Hinamori thanked Hitsugaya and left his office. Hitsugaya turned back when he heard Momo let out a small cry. He rushed to see what was wrong and he saw what was indeed wrong: they were in a room that looked exactly like his office. They went through the door in the second office only to find that they were reentering Hitsugaya's office again.

"Shirou-chan… I think someone has placed a jinx on us. I'll try to break it." Hinamori used her kidou to no avail. Hitsugaya tried his luck too but all were fruitless.

"MATSUMOTO!!! You better be here right now!!!"

Matsumoto soon materialized in front of both of them and Hinamori enamored for help. "Matsumoto-fukutaichou, please help us out of here… I still have a meeting to attend with Aizen-taichou… he could be waiting for me already. Please let us out!!"

"No can do. Shirou-chan won't be too happy with that, ne, Shirou-chan? And don't worry about the meeting; I already took care of that. The third seat is filling in for you at the moment and Aizen-taichou assured me that he didn't mind if Shirou-chan borrowed you for a while."

"What do you mean by that, Matsumoto?!! Go ask help from the 4th or 2nd squad and hurry!!! I don't want to be stuck here for the whole day!!" Toshiro ordered his vice-captain.

"Eh? Can't get out by yourself? Aw… the little kid."

"Stop teasing me, would you?!!"

"Matsumoto-fukutaichou… what do you mean you got the third seat to fill in for me? And Aizen-taichou didn't mind?" Hinamori was nearing her tears. "H-He didn't mind…"

"Matsumoto get us out of here!!!"

"I can't."

"And why not? You better or I'll deduct something from your paycheck!!!"

"Hey! You have no right to do that! But anyways, I'll tell you how to get out of there…" she said, looking at something that was hanging from the doorway. "See that? That's a bunch of mistletoe… I bet you two know what that means. This thing will only stop if you do what you know you should do when it is around… so… I'll leave you two to your little business…"

**OWARI**

Chapter III is up next…


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. sigh 

**Created by** rainroses

Please read and rate… thanks!!!

**Note**: I was reading some fan fictions when I stumbled on an old Christmas mistletoe fic… gave me an idea. Thanks to the author, whose name I cannot seem to recall. Anyways, I won't be updating so much after this because our exams are around the corner… Gome, I really have to study. Hope you enjoy this..

**Mistletoes above My Head**

"Damn that man!!!" Ichigo yelled as he stomped into the office of the 8th squad's captain. He face was beet red.

"He's going to pay!!!" Rukia vowed angrily as she stepped in behind Ichigo. Her face rivaled that of a tomato's.

Nanao looked up to see the source of the noise. "What are you doing here? If you're looking for Kyouraku-taichou, he's goofing off somewhere, as usual. If you find him, please tell him to come back because I need his signatures on these papers. Rika!"

A young shinigami entered the office and bowed to Nanao. "What can I do for you, Ise-fukutaichou?"

"Could you please pick up my order from the 12th squad? I think it should be done by now."

"Hai, Ise-fukutaichou." Rika went out of the room and Ichigo and Rukia cautiously went out of the office, making sure that there was no mistletoe on his doorway.

"I swear, I will shred him into pieces when I see him!!!" Ichigo roared.

Meanwhile…

"Hikou, call the taichou of Squad 4, 5, 6 and 8 to me? There seems to be some mix-up in their reports," General-Captain Yamamoto ordered one of his assistant shinigami.

The shinigami used his shunpo to get to the captains in a short time. Later, we see three captains walking towards a crossroad. When they got to the junction point, they let out mechanical greetings and went their way, which seemed to be the same.

"Unohana-taichou, may I know where you are headed?" Sousuke decided to strike a conversation with the gentle captain of the 4th squad. He did not really like conversing with the strict captain of the 6th squad.

"Yamamoto-shigekuni wished me to his office, Aizen-taichou."

"Is that so? It seems that I will be joining you then."

Byakuya, who was walking behind them, cleared his throat as if reminding them that he was there too.

"Kuchiki-taichou, are you going to the same destination with us as well?" Retsu asked Byakuya.

Byakuya nodded and the threesome were about to walk through a torii gate when a barrier came out of nowhere and blocked them. Sousuke and Byakuya tried to break the barrier to no avail.

"Oh dear, it seems we can't pass this way," Retsu observed, "Why don't we try another route then?"

The other two agreed to her idea and they started to walk away when they were blocked once again by a barrier. The barrier started to close in them. The three tried to use shunpo to get out of there but the barrier would go where they would. There was no escape. Sousuke and Byakuya had already used their bankai when Kyouraku appeared out of nowhere, yawning as he walked past them.

"Kyouraku-taichou!" Retsu called out to the passing captain who did not seem to notice them.

Shunsui looked for the person who called out his name and his jaw dropped when he saw what was happening. Sousuke, Byakuya and Retsu were victims of the mistletoe that he had hung by the torii. What a catch!! But it was unanticipated and it wrecked one of his plans. He had meant to use that on Mayuri of the 12th squad and on some unfortunate shinigami. He frowned a bit before pretentiously investigating the gate. He pretended to be meticulous with every detail and acted as if it were something new to him.

"What do you think this is, Kyouraku-taichou?" Byakuya asked the senior captain, who was still "investigating" everything.

"It seems to be some kidou barrier used as a trap," Sousuke replied for Shunsui. "With patterns of the workmanship of a man named Urahara Kisuke."

The other two captains stirred in their places. He was the ex-taichou of the 12th squad who created strange inventions and was banished from Soul Society. Kyouraku on the other hand, froze. Kisuke had been the one who gave them the mistletoes. What if these three found out? They are going to be so dead.

"Could he be planning something?" Retsu thought aloud.

Kyouraku decided to let them know about the mistletoe to stop them from asking more questions. "Aha!" he cried while pointing to the mistletoe hanging from the top of the torii. "There it is! The culprit!! It is not a normal thing to be seen on a torii gate!!!"

"The culprit is…" the three trapped captains said in unison, "a plant?!!!"

"It's not just an ordinary plant," Shunsui replied a matter-of-factly, "it's a mistletoe."

The Byakuya's eyes widened. He had studied strange human customs in his Academy years. That was the plant one had to kiss under. He looked at the other captains with him. They just smiled and to his chagrin, the 4th squad captain tiptoed to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas, Kuchiki-taichou. I'm sorry for that," she said after she kissed him. Her face was pink. Byakuya could feel heat rising to his face and his heart was beating wildly. He watched as she did the same to Aizen.

"Merry Christmas to you too, Aizen-taichou… and sorry for that as well…"

"Oh? But I'm not," Sousuke replied and kissed her on the cheek as well. Retsu turned pink but regained her composure.

"Hey you guys!! Old man Yamamoto won't be pleased if we come any later," Shunsui called out to them. "What about me Retsu, no kiss for me?"

Byakuya and Sousuke barred him in a split second.

"Okay, okay, I think that's a no. But not even…"

The two were getting ready to pull out their Zanpakutou.

"PEACE!!!" Shunsui flashed a peace sign the muttered to himself, "Not even Nanao-chan would kiss me… ah women, such beautiful cruel creatures."

The four walked their way to Yamamoto's office. (If you're wondering why they didn't use Shunpo, then I will explain. This entrance does not allow such due to the fact that the reiatsu could destroy some of the torii gate's power. Sousuke and Byakuya broke that law by releasing their shikai and bankai.) Sousuke and Retsu walked in front while Byakuya lagged behind them. Shunsui joined Byakuya.

"That Sousuke," Shunsui said fondly, "he really likes her."

Byakuya felt his ears twitch at the words. Shunsui watched Byakuya's face get troubled then thought to himself, _'… hmm… he likes her too…'_

"What made you say that?"

"Well, when Retsu finished kissing both of you, the barrier already dissolved. And yet he still kissed her."

Byakuya looked at Sousuke and Retsu, who were conversing quite animatedly (just imagine mild mannered talkativeness… that would equal normal talkativeness) then he hastened his pace and walked beside Retsu and tried to interest her as well.

Shunsui chuckled to himself. _'We'll have a bloody fight if these two were to fight for her hand… at least I have Nanao-chan… and should someone bother us I--'_

Nanao was waiting in Yamamoto's fukutaichou's office. She had a cross look on her face and she had something in her hand. The other three captains had already gone in and left him.

He turned his back and tried to run away, but got caught by a trap set by Nanao. She smirked evilly and approached him. _'On second thought…'_

**Owari**

Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Review! Thanks!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. sigh 

**Created by** rainroses

Please read and review… thanks!!!

Note: Thanks to all those who reviewed!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I hope the pairings are not too weird for your taste.. And here starts the episode of Nanao and Shunsui… sorry it took so long…

**Mistletoes above My Head**

Urahara Kisuke sighed, disappointed, as he watched the four captains. That bunch of mistletoes was reserved for his apprentice, Mayuri Kurotsuchi. He had been sneaking in Seireitei just to see some action. Things were getting boring back in the human world so he made up his mind to see what has been happening. He knew of course, of the jinxed mistletoes; he had been the one who provided them. He had been observing, witnessing ordinary shinigami do the mistletoe's bidding. But it was boring. He wanted to see some real action. He looked at his video camera and frowned. Another thing that disappointed him was the fact that Retsu got dragged into this. (Apparently, he had also been harboring a crush for Unohana-taichou since their Academy days.) He had been watching the interesting scene from above a high tree and found out that he had plenty of competitors for Retsu's hand. A noise disturbed his solitary above.

"Nanao-chan, you're face is very cute when you're mad but," Shunsui teased, "try not to be too dangerous. I won't wander off again, I promise!! Just don't throw that at of me, please!!!"

"The last time you made that promise, I found you drinking sake in a bar!! You were too drunk even to recognize me!!" Nanao replied angrily. In her other hand was something that looked like a necklace with a stone dangling in the middle.

"But I swore I saw Rika at that time!!" Shunsui reasoned.

"Forget about that, wear this won't you?!!"

"Eh? I thought you were going to throw it at me and knock me out."

"Why the heck would I do that? Now hurry up, Yamamoto-shigekuni will be mad as well if you come any later!!"

Shunsui then neared Nanao. "Ah, Nanao-chan's testament of love for me!! What a nice gift!!"

"It's NOT a testament of love!!"

But Shunsui just ignored her and went on and placed the necklace around his neck. "I will always remember this day, and Nanao-chan's cute face when I look at this…"

Kisuke smiled to himself. _I'm sure the others won't mind if I turned traitor… this will be very interesting… the next victims…_

Meanwhile…

"Shirou-chan… Hitsugaya-taichou …what is that?" Momo was not sure of what to call Toshiro after all that happened.

"It's supposed to be a tracker… but Matsumoto's signal does not appear on my screen," Hitsugaya complained. Both faces had traces of pink across them. "I will make sure that she'll get it from me this time."

Hinamori walked over to the corner of Hitsugaya's office. It was thoroughly embarrassing, but they just had to do it. Her reports were coming to life and they were beginning to chase them to no end. So in one moment, they hid in a closet and did what they had to do. She looked out of the window and drew out a deep sigh. Aizen-taichou wasn't her first kiss… it was very crushing. She wondered what was happening to him now. She was about to ask permission from Toshiro to leave when a leafy box caught her eye. "Shirou- Hitsugaya-taichou, what do you think this is?"

Hitsugaya approached her and investigated the box. He opened it to reveal more mistletoe, and he looked at Hinamori. She looked as if she wanted to burn all of them and her statement afterwards confirmed the thought.

"Let's get rid of those, Hitsugaya-taichou, so that no one will get hurt or something…"

"Sure.. But just one more trick. I'll let that Matsumoto get a taste of her own medicine.. I'll make sure of it!!!" Then, to Momo's surprise, Toshiro took her hand and they left his office.

"H-Hit-Hitsugaya-taichou… where are we going?" she inquired the white-hair boy in front of her. He was still holding her hand, and she was blushing scarlet.

"We'll look for more of her victims then we can team up to take rev—"Hitsugaya looked at Momo and noticed that he had been holding her hand for too long. He quickly let go and his face reddened beyond words. "S-S-Sorry about that…"

"Oi!!! White-haired boy!!!" someone called to Toshiro. "Have you seen that good for nothing pink clad captain of the 8th squad?!!!"

Toshiro looked behind him to see Ichigo and Rukia looking very angry. "Do you mean Kyouraku-taichou? I think I saw Ise-fukutaichou dragging him somewhere…"

"Where?!!!" Rukia demanded.

"What's wrong Kuchiki-san?" Momo asked the dark-haired shinigami. "Why are you two so angry at him all of a sudden?"

Rukia and Ichigo looked at Momo as if they'd kill her in a moment if she said anything more. Toshiro stepped in front of her and asked them what was wrong. Both blushed at the same time and Ichigo looked away from Rukia, who was brave enough to relay what had happened to them. Rukia explained what Shunsui dragged them into.

"_Now what, Ichigo?!!! What are we supposed to do anyway? I don't want to stay here anymore!!!"_

_Ichigo replied to her angrily as well, "It's none of your business Rukia!! Whatever we have to do, we won't do it!!! We'll find another way out… Bankai!!!"_

_Ichigo's zanpakuto transformed into its final release; Ichigo uselessly used it against the mistletoe which had a barrier around it. Before he could try a technique though, Rukia also released her zanpakuto. "Mai_(dance)_, Shirayuki."_

_Ichigo was expecting her to destroy the mistletoe when she faced him as if to battle him. "Rukia?"_

"_I'm not letting you harm that plant anymore. There's going to be a way out other than fighting, and I won't let you cut down that chance. I'll fight you to protect this plant if I have to."_

_Ichigo gave her a resigned look. How can he possible tell her he has to kiss her to get out of this mess? Oh is he so going to kill Shunsui after this. He'll just have to find a way to stop all the foolishness. He pulled his zanpakuto ready._

_Rukia watched Ichigo as he readied his zanpakuto. He was really going to fight her. 'Please don't let him be serious. There's gotta be another way out of this,' she thought._

"_Ready when you are, Rukia!" Ichigo called to the raven-haired girl. He charged to her. She quickly dodged his blow but to her surprise, he grabbed her arm, then her waist, and pulled her face into his. He kissed her, then after a few moments, let go. Rukia had shut her eyes and was still doing so when Ichigo cleared his throat. She opened her eyes and saw that they were back in the normal world, in Shunsui's office. She looked at Ichigo who blushed intensely, though same could be said of her. Despite herself, she grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the office. She destroyed the mistletoe with her kudo and went of to kill Shunsui._

**OWARI**

Sorry this update kinda came late… We just finished the last of our exams today!!! Wheee!!! Oh, and before I forget, Review!!!! I'll try to update this as fast as I can from now. Review, review, review, review, review, and thanks!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach or any of its characters. They all belong to Tite Kubo. Lucky guy.

**Created by: **rainroses

Note: I just created this today, as celebration for the end of our exams… MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!

&&&&&&&

**Mistletoes above My Head**

"Kyouraku-taichou!!!" came in a huge voice that shook the peaceful Soul Society one morning. It came from an extremely pissed Nanao Ise, who just woke up to find out that her captain had already left to escape a meeting that morning. The other shinigami in the 8th squad quarters looked at their vice captain fearfully; she had never been this pissed before. "I will make him regret this!!!"

She slammed her door behind her and the other shinigami heaved a sigh of relief. They thought that she would destroy everything in the way. Inside her room, she opened the topmost drawer of her desk and took out something that looked like a remote control. Meanwhile…

"Shunsui, I think you ought to go back," Juushirou Ukitake suggested to his friend, who was sipping sake in his office. "I think I can hear Ise-fukutaichou calling for you."

Shunsui waved his hand to his friend as if it was nothing. "No matter, Nanao-chan won't kill me yet."

Juushirou looked at Shunsui helplessly. He has always been like that, since their younger days. He opened the windows when his ye was caught by something that glinted beneath Shunsui's kimono. "Hey Shunsui, what's that?"

Shunsui looked down and smiled at his white haired chum. He took it out for Juushirou to see though he did not take it off. "Nanao-chan's testament of live for me. She gave it to me yesterday."

Juushirou's eyes widened. He quickly pulled Shunsui to his feet. "Leave now and go to your vice-captain! Whatever you do, don't make her super angry!!!"

"Eh? Why are you throwing me out?"

"I'm not throwing you out; I'm saving your life! That so-called testament of love is actually the 12th squad's latest toy: a manipulating device! Once you wear it, you can never take it off until the person with the controls wishes to do so!!"

"So you're saying…"

"I'm saying that Ise-fukutaichou is either making her way here or---"

Juushirou stopped when Shunsui's hair stood on its ends.

"That was 150 watts," he informed Shunsui when his senses got knocked into him.

"Thanks for telling me," Shunsui replied while getting his hair back to normal again. But before he could say anything, Juushirou had another fit and was spitting blood, and fainted. His two third seats came out of nowhere and started to run around their captain.

"Ukitake-taichou, hang on, I'm going to save you," the girl Kiyone Kotetsu said while holing her captain's hand. Then the other 3rd seat, Sentaro Kotsubaki, pushed her aside and said something similar to his captain. The two stood up and argued.

"I will save him!!"

"No, I will! Stand aside! Besides, you're too weak to even carry him!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"You know, I have a strange feeling that Juushirou will die if you two keep at that," Shunsui mused loudly.

The two stopped fighting and realized their foolishness… or rather, they blamed each other's foolishness.

"It's your fault!"

"What?! I think it's yours!!! You were the one who wanted to stop me from helping him!"

"WHAT?!!!!"

Shunsui sighed and was about to call the 4th squad from the phone when a very chilly and cold voice greeted him from behind. "Good morning, Kyouraku-taichou. I deem you enjoyed your wake up call?"

Shunsui slowly turned his back to face his angry vice-captain. "Ah, Nanao-chan. Such a lovely face you have. It grows beautiful every morning too."

"I don't want your compliments!! We're late for the meeting!!!!" With that she took out the remote control and pressed a button labeled 100 watts.

It seemed to have taken its toll on Shunsui; but only on his hair. His body was seemingly still normal. Nanao felt her jaw drop.

"Ah Nanao-chan, your love seems to want to play with my hair… It did that a while ago too. But poor Juushirou is dying…"

Nanao angrily went to the phone and contacted the 4th squad. Kiyone and Sentaro were still arguing on who would call the 4th squad when Nanao did what she did. They looked crestfallen afterwards. Soon, two 4th squad shinigami came to try to return him back to a stable state. The 3rd seats watched anxiously while Shunsui and Nanao just observed what was happening.

"Now, Kyouraku-taichou, the situation is at hand, please come with me to the meeting," Nanao said through gritted teeth. She so wanted to press the 1000watt button.

"But Nanao-chan, I've known him since I was like… uh, how old was I back then again? (Nanao glares at him.) I won't leave until he comes regains his consciousness."

"He could be knocked out for a week, you know!"

"Kyouraku-taichou, please send for Unohana-taichou quickly!" one of the medics cut them off. "Something is very wrong… We can't diagnose it!"

Shunsui used his shunpo and returned with the long haired captain of the 4th squad.

"Oh dear," she said when she felt Juushirou's pulse. "It's getting worse. Why didn't you call me right away?"

Shunsui smiled at the two 3rd seats, who looked at each other murderously.

They were about to make their way out when bam! They were trapped in spheres; Retsu with Juushirou, Nanao with Shunsui, the two medics in one, and Kiyone and Sentaro.

"Oh my, mistletoes again?" Retsu asked Shunsui calmly.

Nanao shot her captain a poisonous look. "Again?" _So he did this a while ago with Unohana-taichou, and I'm going to have to him?_

"It's not what you think, Nanao-chan…" _How did I become a victim? _

Retsu bent down and kissed Juushirou on the cheek, much to Kiyone's chagrin. _His first kiss… by Unohana-taichou… my dreams… my hopes…_

Their sphere collapsed and Unohana ordered the medics to follow en suite. The two looked at each other unsurely and the boy medic pecked the girl lightly on the lips and their sphere collapsed as well. Sentaro and Kiyone froze in their sphere.

"Well you guys know what to do," Retsu bid them goodbye. "I have to go now."

Nanao looked at her captain nervously. _He's perverted, lecherous and what else! What if he does more than he's supposed to? I don't think I can ever show my face here again._

Shunsui whistled and then neared Nanao. Nanao could feel the heat rising to her cheeks and she shut her eyes tight, expecting her captain to kiss her lips any time. _It's just a kiss Nanao, just a kiss. No feelings involved… just a kiss… stop hyperventilating…just a kiss… but it's my first!!!!_

To her surprise, she felt the kiss planted lightly on her forehead. She opened her eyes and fell to the ground. She staggered to keep her balance, and Shunsui caught her by the waist. She felt herself blush again. It was a very cute scene, as Sentaro and Kiyone found themselves watch the two go out. Shunsui tried to hug her but gone was the remote control to shock him; Nanao's trusty fan is back in use. Behind the curtains one could hear the distinct zooming of a camera.

"Damn. First Aizen, then Kuchiki, then Ukitake. When am I going to get that kiss too?" Kisuke asked to himself. He looked at his video camera. _Well, it may not be my turn yet… I have to file this under "BLACKMAIL" later…_

He went out from his hiding place, surprising Kiyone and Sentaro, who were standing at the far corners of their spheres, keeping every possible distance available from each other. "If I were you two, you better try to get out now before those mistletoes go on to level two."

"No way I'm going to kiss her! Her stupidity might rub off on me!!!" Sentaro retaliated.

"I'll die before that monster will get to kiss me!!! My first kiss is only for Uki— I'll never kiss him!!!"

"Ya, you will die if you don't get out of there fast. But if that's the way that you want it then, good luck to ya both." Kisuke quickly went out of the office before the mistletoe could spread havoc. He left a mini-camcorder though… he might need blackmail material for them.

**OWARI**

Again, please review!!! Thanks!!!XD


	6. Owari

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters. Sigh. BUT Rika(Nanao's assistant) and Hikou(Yamamoto's assistant) belong to me!!! And only to me!!!

**Created** **by** rainroses

To all those who reviewed the fic, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!! I can't thank you enough!!! But I have to end this now… the Christmas season is way over hehehehehe….

**Mistletoes above My Head**

Shigekuni Yamamoto was looking out of his office one day when he saw a strange plant hanging by the doorway of a nearby room. And stranger still, when the narcissistic 5th seat of the 11th squad and the fukutaichou of the 4th squad walked out of the same time, they suddenly disappeared; rather, their bodies were there, unconscious and their reiatsu were gone. He watched as two shinigami tried to help but was repelled. Yamamoto frowned. Something was wrong with Seireitei.

He called for his fukutaichou, only to be informed that he was not in the area as of the moment. His fukutaichou was surveying some land in Rukongai that he had planned to create into an extension of the Shinigami Academy for the poor. He called for Hikou, one of his assistant shinigami. "Hikou, something is not right in Seireitei. Come with me, we will survey the place. And before I forget, have Soi Fong of the 2nd squad join us."

Hikou used his shunpo then returned with the strict taichou of the 2nd squad. She bowed to greet Yamamoto. Yamamoto used his shunpo to transport him to where Isane Kotetsu and Ayasegawa Yumichika were. The shinigami there bowed to greet Yamamoto. They looked at the mistletoes fearfully. "Yamamoto-taichou, something happened to them… we don't know how to undo the kidou or whatever is holding them in that state…"

"Keep away from it," came in Yamamoto's simple order. "Hikou what do you think it is?"

Soi Fong was about to investigate it when Hikou blocked her with his arm. "What do you think you're doing, blocking my way?!"

"Yamamoto-taichou, Soi Fong-taichou… if I am not mistaken, it is a bunch of mistletoe. I suggest that Soi Fong-taichou keep away from the premises."

"What?!!!"

Yamamoto frowned. Mistletoes. What exactly are they anyway? He doesn't have a single inkling about those human things… he was not one to engross on them either. Hikou, seeing the semi-troubled look of his captain, decided to explain what they were facing. "There's this human tradition called Christmas… rather, it's something like a festival. And these plants are hung on the ceiling and doorways in their residences to catch two unsuspecting people. They said whoever is under the mistletoe should kiss the one beside him underneath it, provided that they are of the opposite sex."

With this Soi Fong inched away a bit. _Okay so Hikou was cute… handsome, a gentleman, smart and strong… even of noble blood, though not one of the great houses. Why, he could even be of the captain level if he wanted to. But he's too loyal to that old man. Wait!!!! What am I thinking?!!! Stay focused Soi Fong. **YOU** do not like Hikou. Maybe just a bit… No! You **DO** not like him. But…_

The shinigami girls in the office looked at Hikou slyly. Hikou did not seem to notice but Soi Fong saw this and glared at some of them, who immediately looked away.

"Very well then…" Yamamoto thought of how to get them out. "Females, on the left side, one straight line. Males, on the right side, one straight line."

His orders were well obeyed. There were two lines in a blink of an eye. They filed out quietly, females first, then the males. "What do you suggest we do to them, Hikou?"

"Two male medics and four female medics from the 4th squad could do the job. But the distances are too small—"

All of a sudden, the two bodies sprawled on the ground sat up. Hikou and Soi Fong jumped back in surprise. It was Isane Kotetsu who spoke first.

"Uhn… my beautiful face… my beautiful face!!! Why am I looking at it?!!!" she said, looking at Yumichika's face.

Yumichika looked back at Isane then he screamed. He reached out to touch Isane's face but then Isane slapped his hand. "My own body won't…"

Yamamoto considered the situation. Then he asked Yumichika what his name was.

"Isane Kotetsu, lieutenant of the 4th squad, Yamamoto-donno."

He asked Isane for her name as well.

"Ayasegawa Yumichika, 5th seat of the 11th squad."

Then it hit all of them. Their bodies were switched. Isane(Yumichika) screamed about getting his beautiful self back while Yumichika(Isane) sobbed quietly in a corner. Hikou then thought of a cure. The two eagerly listened as Hikou told them calmly that they should kiss each other, considering that the mistletoe could have done it to them. Yumichika(Isane) blushed and looked like tomato, Isane(Yumichika) looked like he was still considering of it was alright to kiss himself or it was horrendous to do so considering the inhabitant of his body.

"Well then, we'll leave you to that matter. Hikou, Soi Fong, let us see—"

A blast from somewhere near the 8th squad quarters was seen or heard. Yamamoto looked back at the both of them. "You know what to do." He used his shunpo to the place of the explosion, followed by Hikou and Soi Fong.

"What now?" Yumichika(Isane) asked.

Isane(Yumichika) did not reply and Yumichika(Isane) sighed. How is she supposed to get out of this now? She had to get back to the 4th squad because the explosion would surely leave her taichou extremely exhausted, considering the Ukitake-taichou was also in need of her care. Before she knew it however, Isane(Yumichika) pinned her to the floor, his hands constricting hers and then pressed his lips against hers softly. When both opened their eyes, Yumichika was already the one on top while Isane was beneath him. Isane swore her face looked like a bloody rag but then Yumichika kissed her again, this time, in his body and then used his shunpo to get away. Isane felt her forehead afterwards. Warm… _Oh no! I must get back to my taichou!!! But… considering him… _Isane smiled when she noticed a shimmer from beneath the bushes. She neared it when a man wearing a strange hat jumped out, carrying a video camera. She fell back and then with a tip of his hat, he disappeared.

At the explosion…

"I finally found you, goon!!!" Ichigo yelled, charging to Shunsui, who was walking calmly with Nanao beside him, carrying some papers. "Tensa!!!!"

Shunsui dodged the blow, but the building behind him exploded. Nanao dropped her papers, getting ready to fight. But Shunsui held her back. "This is my fight, Nanao-chan. Cheer for me, okay?"

Nanao watched her captain go against the substitute shinigami. Then she saw Rukia getting ready to turn her taichou into a Popsicle. She took out her zanpakuto and stopped Rukia. They fought against each other and soon, Shunsui had to use his shikai. They were about to kill each other when Hikou stopped Shunsui and Ichigo while Soi Fong did the same to Rukia and Nanao. Yamamoto looked at them disapprovingly.

"Yama-jii!!!" Shunsui greeted his "father".

"What is this now, Shunsui?" he asked annoyed. That building was going to cost them something.

"Well, Ichigo here wanted to fight."

Yamamoto looked at Ichigo reproachfully. Ichigo shuddered inward; there was no saying what this old man was going to do. Then, the surrounding buildings suddenly turned to ice. Toshiro aimed at Gin. Momo was shooting fire to Rangiku.

"Hey, I got caught already!!! Isn't it enough?!! C'mon Shiro-chan!!!" Rangiku yelled to Toshiro.

"That's Hitsugaya-taichou to you!! I'll never forgive you Matsumoto!!!" Toshiro yelled back. "And you Ichimaru, stay out of this!!!"

"But then my poor Rangiku will be outmatched… it won't be a fair fight no more."

The popsicled buildings began to crumble. Isane and Yumichika rushed to the scene to battle with Yachiru, who was the one who lured them to the mistletoe earlier. If that wasn't enough ruckuses already, Renji came into the scene, after hearing what had happened to Ichigo and Rukia. He wanted to cut Ichigo's head off.

"Hoero(Howl), Zabimaru!!!"

"Ken-chaaaaaan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yachiru yelled while holding off joint attacks from Isane and Yumichika. Kenpachi rushed into the battle, wondering where his lieutenant had gone and seeing the action, he got out his own zanpakuto, his blood curling with excitement. He spotted Kisuke, who was taping everything from one of the undamaged(yet) buildings, and got him down to fight.

"Cry, Benehime!" Urahara left his camera in an angle where all the stuff could get caught.

Then Hanataro of the 4th squad came into the area but was followed by arrows and some little thins that turned orange. Ichigo and Shunsui got into fighting again, with Hikou trying to stop them. Rika (Nanao's assistant) also came, to save Hikou when Ichigo nearly hit him in the spine. As it turns out, Rika is Hikou's fiancée. Soi Fong got pissed when she found out and fought Rika. Nanao and Rukia got into the mood also, as they resumed their fight.

"Jinteki Shakusetsu (Sting all enemies to death), Suzumebachi!" Soi Fong released her zanpakuto.

Yorouichi came in to lend Kisuke a hand, and then Mayuri, who heard the all the noise from his underground lab, decided that this was a good chance to rid of Urahara forever. He fought with Kenpachi to annihilate Kisuke but Kenpachi did not want him to help, and so they fought too.

"Kakimushire (Pillage), Ashisogi Jizou!" - Mayuri

Retsu, Sousuke, Byakuya, Komamura, Kaname and Juushirou (now recovered) came also, and tried to stop everyone from causing any more damage. But they just worsened the fight as the others did not want to be stopped.

"Chire (Scatter), Senbonzakura!" - Byakuya

"Kudakero (Shatter), Kyouka Suigetsu!" - Sousuke

"Todoroku (Roar), Tengen!" – Komamura

"Nake (Sing), Suzumushi!" – Kaname

"Wa ga yaiba to nare (Become my blade), Sougyo no Kotowari!" – Juushirou

"Minatsuki, fly up!" Retsu ordered her shikai.

At last, Yamamoto could no longer take it. He released his sword too, and at this, everyone stopped fighting.

"Banshou Issai Kaijin To Nase (Disintegrate All Existence), Ryujinjakka!"

Everyone stepped back as Yamamoto made his way through the mess. "Who started this?!!!!"

No one made a sound.

"Answer me! Who dared to destroy peace her in Soul Society?! Your noise can reach even the 80th street of Rukongai!!!"

No one dared to answer. Unknown to them, Nemu had come to look for her father and saw Urahara's little toy. She immediately understood its use and filmed the whole thing, zooming on everyone, but more on Ishida. She jumped down, bowed to Yamamoto, and handed the camera to him.

"And what is this?"

"It's something from the human world that records things, I believe. Its components seem to be very fine."

Urahara cursed under his breath. Rangiku wanted to commit suicide. Yachiru hid behind Kenpachi. Hanataro'e knees turned into jelly. Yamamoto had asked Nemu if they had equipment to show it to the whole Seireitei and she replied yes. They remembered that Rangiku had Ururu tape their planning.

That night, the people who tried to spread some holiday cheer were cleaning up the whole Seireitei. But the people involved also had to undergo the most humiliating experience ever; Yamamoto ordered all the people in Rukongai to assemble at the gates of Seireitei and watch as the all the victims redo their kissing scenes. Their faces were flashed on huge screens on the four gates of Seireitei via the video camera.

However, Nemu clicked the wrong button and showed everything that Urahara had filmed instead of the kissing scenes inside. After that, everyone swore that they'd have to Sokyoku used on the conspirators.

5 years after…

Everyone watched it again, this time, but not the whole Rukongai. Only the shinigami in Seireitei were admitted. They watched it in Sokyoku hill, where the 12th squad had a humongous screen set up.

Rukia and Ichigo laughed out loud as their kissing scene went first. They were now engaged, ready to marry anytime.

Hitsugaya and Hinamori still blushed when theirs was shown; they still in that stage when Hitsugaya was courting her. Hitsugaya is now one of Soul Society's most handsome lads and was very sought after.

Many sighed as the three captains walked to the junction point. Unohana Retsu was still as pretty; and Sousuke, Byakuya and Kisuke were still rivals for her affection. Kisuke's banishment was lifted over time; and he was now the head of the Shinigami Technologies Institute, teasing Mayuri every now and then. (Mayuri cursed Yamamoto for allowing him back.)

Soi Fong admitted her infatuation for Hikou to Yorouichi, who told someone until it got to Hikou. Hikou didn't dump her though; he and Rika were no longer a couple; Rika fell for Ikkaku Madarame of the 11th squad.

Yachiru at this time was already a 9 year old lass; and still very cute.

Uryuu and Orihime are still friends… friends, because Nemu is also competing for Uryuu. Shunsui and Nanao are finally married; Nanao an expectant mother of 2; it was said that she was going to have twins. Shunsui would often tease her how fat she had become and then she would whack him with her fan. She wasn't the only one expecting though; Rangiku was well into her 7th month of her first pregnancy with Ichimaru's child. Kira was excited to be a godfather.

Renji moved on and was now dating Tasuki; Chad was trying hard to conceal his laughter as he watched the flick all throughout. Yumichika finally cut off his feathered eyebrows and took off the silly make-up making him another of Soul Society's most wanted men but he already tied the knot with Isane.

As for Sentaro and Kiyone; they never did get out of their sphere. It took Urahara to take off the mistletoe; the video showed they did consider just a kiss on the cheek but Kiyone was too grossed out to even think of it and still insisted that she wanted her taichou to give her her first kiss. (At this she covered her ears; Ukitake just smile at her, ever the gentleman.)

Yamamoto smiled from his seat from the very back. It was funny alright; but now his "family" was enjoying it. BUT it did cost them more than 5 million ryo. Someone's gotta pay.

**OWARI**

Review!!! I finally finished this fic… watch out for the next one but I'm still thinking of what to do.. ehehheh… to all those who reviewed before, thank you again!!! And if this did not go the way you guys wanted it to, I'm sorry but say all you wanna say.. just press that submit review button down there.. tell me what you think, ok? Thanks again!!!


End file.
